I hate your kids

...and other things autism parents won’t say out loud.

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Crazy things my kid eats, and a happy visit

Benjamin shifted into super impulsive mode this holiday weekend, as he often does when he’s off school for too long. Every time you go to the bathroom or run upstairs or blink, he’s at it again—scaling the kitchen counters, ransacking the freezer, dragging the step stool over to various hard-to-reach spots.

It is impossible to put into words how frustrating it is to say “No fridge!” 25 times in ten minutes, or to find your giggly eight year old coated in almond butter, just inches from your brand-new sofa. I can, though, provide you with a list of some of the things Benjamin was thankful to get into this Thanskgiving.

1. Salt

2. Infant toothpaste

3. Sprinkles (pilfered from my neighbor’s pantry—he snuck into their place while we were playing basketball on their driveway).

4. Turkey pan drippings

5. Chicken cutlets, which would have been sort of okay if he’d eaten them in their entirety, instead of just picking off the breading.

7. Makeup (which, to be fair, I don’t think he ate. But it was still pretty messy.)

8. Tahini

9. All of my tic tacs

10. A very large box of Cheerios

The exasperation lifted today when I saw the smile that spread across his face the moment he processed that Atara, his former occupational therapist, was in our house. True love, I tell you.

They even practiced handwriting, just like old times.